Fate
by sophie2828
Summary: A story of Rufus and Lily coming into each other's lives again, after all those years. It's almost as if fate brought them back together. Similar to the television story line of how they met again, through their children, with a little variation! I know the first chapter is short but I will be adding more chapters soon!
1. Chapter 1

Hello! This is my very first fan fiction! Comments are SO appreciated, as well as constructive critisism- :-)

Chapter 1 - Thinking of You 

**Prologue**

The croud went wild, the cheers and whistling resonated throughout the stadium. Lily Rhodes stood tall and proud in the very first row as the love of her life, Rufus Humphrey, took a bow. As he stood back up, he locked eyes with Lily for a moment, winked, then went back to adressing the crowd as he waved and bowed again. His band, Lincoln Halk, was at the height of its popularity and Lily was there with him to experience it all -he couldn't feel more lucky.

After the show, Lily ran backstage to greet Rufus and congratulate him on a great show. She spotted him chugging some water and he set it down as soon as he saw her approach.

"So... whaddya think!" Rufus said, showing off a big set of pearly whites.

"You were so fucking fantastic! One of your best shows yet!" Lily replied, full of enthusiasm. It made Rufus smile even greater.

Everyone around them started leaving the premises, so Rufus lead Lily outside and they made their way toward the tour bus. Rufus stopped as they were about to go in.

"I'm so happy you're here with me, Lil." Rufus said quietly.

"There's no place I'd rather be." Lily said, feeling as though her life couldn't be more perfect.

**** Present Time ****

Rufus was tapping his notepad with a pen for the last ten minutes. He hadn't written a song in the last five years so he thought he'd give it another try; it was much harder than he thought. He also tried to ignore the fact that every time he tried to think of a topic to write about, all he could think of was Lily. He quickly shook the thought of her from his head.

It had been years since they'd last had a conversation, or even seen each other for that matter, other than the occasional school event. He longed for the days when they were together, before money (or lack there of) and growing up got in the way of things. How stupid your "image" was, he thought. Why did society matter? Why did Lily have to leave him so she could find a more 'appropriate' husband, someone more her equal? Rufus had no idea she really left because she became pregant with his child, and she had no other choice but to leave because she did not want him to know. He assumed it was because she didn't love him anymore -because he was not up to the standards of Lily and her mother, CeCe. Little did Rufus know, Lily still thought of him; and she never stopped loving him, either.

Lily Van der Woodsen sighed as she was filling out paperwork for various things she had to attend to. Just then, her daughter Serena entered the room. Lily took off her glasses to look up at her.

"Hi Mom." Serena said.

"Hello Serena, where are you coming from? It's already six thirty." Lily said as she looked down at her watch.

"Sorry, well...there's something I want to tell you." Serena said back.

"Oh?" Lily questioned, hoping this was not another explanation of some trouble she got herself into.

"Don't worry, it's good!" Serena laughed as she reassured her mother, knowing she would think the worst. "I'm actually dating someone!"

"Wow, well good for you! Who's the lucky man?" Lily was not surprised Serena would find a boyfriend only six months after returning from boarding school.

"His name is Dan. Dan Humphrey."

The minute Serena said those words, Lily felt as though all the blood had drained from her face. She felt cold and in shock. Realizing she hadn't responded yet, she quickly blurted out:

"Oh well, great! I'm happy for you!" She mustered a weak smile but as soon as Serena smiled back and turned to leave, Lily's face went back to frozen shock.

It had been _years_ since Lily had any in-depth thought about Rufus, about how she felt about him. Of course she thought of him many times since, but she always brushed off the thoughts quickly, erasing them from her mind. But now, it was different. She knew she was going to have to see him soon because of their children dating. She thought she had _finally_ put him in the past, and each year she thought of him a little less. But now all of that hard work of keeping him out of her thoughts and her life was going to dissapear.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I decided to do this scene word for word how it is on the show. I hope this doesn't dissapoint anyone, but I wanted to stay true to the characters. BUT, if it seems like a good idea, I might do an alternate scene of their meeting, just to have an original idea out there, because it might be more fun for people to read. Anyway, it was really fun adding in all of the unwritten feelings and hidden tones in the scene!

Chapter 2

Lily walked right into Rufus's art gallery, thinking she would just stop by to relay the news of their children dating, and then be on her way. She tried to convince herself there was no other reason for going to visit him besides telling him the news of their children. Of course there wasn't. Why would there be anyway? She simply had no feelings for him anymore and that is why this meeting would be casual and easy, and nothing more. ...Right?

Rufus looked over to find Lily staring at a painting. In _his _gallery. When he saw her standing there he couldn't help but laugh. Both a laugh because he was in shock upon seeing her and a laugh at the irony that Lily Van der Woodsen would be seen standing _anywhere_ in Brooklyn.

"Lily, are you shopping for some art to match your furniture?" He said, walking towards her as she walked towards another painting, away from him.

"Why is my daughter going to one of your concerts?" She asked while staring at the painting, ignoring his attempt to make a joke.

"Because we're awesome." Rufus replied.

Lily turned towards him to look him in the eye.

"With your son." She said. They were now standing closer together.

"Dan scored a date with Serena?" Rufus said, shocked but happy that his son finally was able to go out with the girl of his dreams.

"Mhm." Lily said, crossing her arms.

"Well our kids were bound to meet, it's a small island." Rufus responded. Lily looked at him with amusement.

"Are you sure it's not some ploy you're using my daughter to get to me now that your wife left you?" Lily knew she was flirting but it was just so easy to tease Rufus.

"How'd you know about Allison?" Rufus questioned, looking confused.

"Like you said, small island."

Rufus thought for a moment and then said, "Oh I get it. You hear about Allison, use your daughter as an excuse to start something." He tried.

Lily couldn't help but chuckle at his absurd idea.

"In your dreams". She tugged on her scarf, suddenly feeling at a loss for air.

"Well you are in my dreams Lily," He said, playing along. "One in particluar re-occurs, it involves finding you in the back of a Nine Inch Nails bus with your shoes in your earrings and Trent Reznor...Oh! That happened." He said, laughing through the last words, then looking at Lily seriously.

She smiled at him, surprised but almost happy he brought that up- because it showed that he still remembered.

"No need to re-hash details of decades past." She said, looking him in the eye. "So I moved on."

"Yeah, from Trent to Lane to Perry. 'Till you switched up rockstars for billionares." He said with a serious tone.

"You think you're so cute." She said quietly. "Washed up band, crappy so-called art gallery."

He stared at the floor, clearly a little hurt by her words.

"Well," He replied, "not all of us have settlements from multiple divorces to sustain us." She gave him a sting, he gave one back. They both looked please with their attempt to out-do the other with an insult.

They looked eachother in the eye, then Rufus turned to walk away. Lily's smile faded.

"Just stay out of my life, Rufus." She warned, and then started to leave. He was standing with his back to her.

As she was walking down the street away from the gallery, should couldn't help but smile. She felt almost giddy. She enjoyed banter with Rufus. Just as friends though, she was quick to point out to herself. She didn't let her mind explore if there was anything more she felt towards Rufus, because that was just too dangerous to explore, and she was afraid of what she might discover.

Rufus stood there in the gallery, still shocked at his encounter with Lily. She was the last person he thought he'd see today. But he also felt something else, too. _What was that?_ He thought to himself, trying to figure it out.

But then he realized what it was he was feeling. It was excitement. He was excited for all of the possibilites that could stem from today. He was excited because he knew this wasn't the last time he was going to see Lily. In fact, he had a feeling he'd be running into her again very soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: This is before and after the scene from 1x02. I decided not to include it because you can just watch it and it wouldn't be my original work anyway, so I thought I'd write what you didn't see :). Enjoy!

Lily sat on the couch in her living room, legs crossed, reading the latest Vogue. Her fingers flipped carelessly through the pages, but the same ease did not match what was going on in her head. She was thinking about Rufus, of course. Part of her was mad for starting up this whole thing, visiting him at his art gallery, knowing it would turn into more than one visit. Knowing it would come with a plethora of complications. But part of her did not regret it, part of her just felt so relieved that he was in her life again. It felt right. But still, this was only part of her mind, and the two opposite sides fought to no end. Was she truly, honestly doing the right thing?

She didn't have to think about it much longer because her cell phone started to ring. Her eyes rushed to the number on the phone, secretly hoping it was Rufus. It wasn't Rufus, but her daughter, Serena.

"Hello?"

"Hey mom, I'm going out to dinner with Dan tonight, okay?"

"Alright, just be home by eleven."

"I will."

"Okay, have fun."

"Thanks, bye."

And with that, Serena hung up. Lily sighed thinking about the lack of communication between her and her daughter. She couldn't remember the last time they had a conversation that lasted longer than five minutes that didn't involve yelling. Then she thought about how much time Serena was spending with Dan lately. He was Rufus's son, so he couldn't be that bad, but she was still concerned for Serena. She needed careful watching these days.

She decided to call Rufus to discuss Serena and Dan. Yes, she would call Rufus out of her concern for Serena, and for that reason only. Her children came first, didn't they? In fact, if she didn't call, she'd consider herself a bad mother.

She opened her phone and called him. While it was ringing she could help but feel a little rush of excitement. She felt embarrased by it.

"Hello?"

And his voice. More excitement.

"Uh, yes, Rufus. I'm calling about Serena and Daniel."

"What...no hello?" Rufus smirked to himself.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Hello Rufus." She said in a condescending voice.

"So what's this about Serena and Dan?"

"I'm concerned that Serena is spending too much time with Dan. I don't want him negatively affecting her. Please keep an eye on your son."

"Lily,"

She loved when she heard her name being said by Rufus.

"I'd hardly be concerned about Dan." He continued. "He's a good kid. Really."

"Well alright, but-"

"Listen, I'm sort of busy right now, but why don't we discuss this over some coffee?" Rufus asked without thinking and then immediately felt a little embarrased for asking.

"Well, I guess I could fit it in. How about tomorrow at 3?" She tried to keep her excitement undetectable.

"Great. How about the one next to the gallery?"

"In Brooklyn? Well, alright." She sounded reluctant to agree and almost bored.

"Please, contain your excitement." He said sarcastically.

Lily chuckled. "Alright," she said. "See you then." And she hung up.

Lily felt bad for seeming so unamused on the phone. But what was she going to do? Yell ''yipee!'' when he asked to meet up? She had to keep her cool. Not only would she be embarrased if Rufus saw her excitement, but she was still mad at herself for feeling this way. Before she called him, it was okay to have fun thinking about talking to Rufus, to get a little excited. But when she looked at the reality of everything, and that she might have actual real feelings for him, she felt a little embarrased and ashamed. Lily Van der Woodsen, after all this time, was still falling for Rufus Humphrey? She must hide it and forget about it, she told herself.

Rufus started to get nervous at the little energy Lily had towards the meet-up. She was the one that called him, so why was she acting like she was doing him a favor by going to get coffee? She was the one that was suddenly so paranoid about her daughter. He was starting to doubt this was all about Dan and Serena. But her voice definitely sounded like it still was. _Who knew?_, he thought. Guess he'll find out.

After their coffee together, Lily played over their conversation in her head. They definitely flirted, be she remained cool and not too interested. Perfect. Having a conversation with Rufus was unlike talking to anyone else she knew. Their quick banter back and forth, always one-upping the other with friendly insults. She had to admit, it was a lot of fun. She caught herself smiling and quickly changed her expression. But then she thought back to how he had remembered her usual coffee order, after all that time, and the smile immediately re-appeared. Damn. This whole keeping it cool thing is gonna be hard, she thought.

Rufus stared at the ceiling of his bedroom. He couldn't fall asleep. He looked over to the clock on his nightstand. 2:45 a.m. Shit. He put his fingers through his hair and sighed. He was thinking about a lot of things. He thought about seeing Lily today. The only way he could think of describing how he felt about it was that it felt good. It felt really good, actually, to be in contact with Lily again. Then he thought about his marraige to Alison, and how it wasn't looking good. He had always thought it was mostly her fault for the decaying of the marraige, but then he thought that maybe _he _was at fault for not putting 100 percent of his love towards her. _No. _He thought. _Stop it._ He didn't dare go there. He didn't dare think about the fact that maybe his marraige failed because he was still in love with someone else, no matter how far down those feelings got pushed. No matter how hard he tried to forget about them.

No, he didn't go there.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: This next chapter is purely fictitious and does not correspond with the story-line of the actual show. It is based a bit however on a few different scenes in the show. Thought I'd have some fun! Also, sorry that it took so long to finally spit this out. :-)

Lily sat at the dining room table, looking over a few bills. Her concentration was interrupted when her daughter, Serena, approached her.

"Mom, can I invite Dan over for dinner?" Serena asked. Oh, Dan Humphrey. Lily still couldn't believe out of all people her daughter was dating him. In a way it made her chuckle at the coincidence.

"Sure, darling." Lily responded calmly.

"Okay, great, I want to make it really nice, okay?"

"Of course, I'll get something set up."

Later that day Lily was putting the finishing touches on the centerpieces as the cook she hired was working on the dinner. Dan was expected to arrive in less than ten minutes. Despite the connection, Lily was pleased her daughter was dating someone that didn't fall under her usual choice of bad boys.

"Oh, by the way mom?"

"Yes dear?"

"Dan's dad will be coming too. Sorry I didn't let you know earlier but I had just invited him a little while ago and forgot to tell you. I assumed you wouldn't mind, he's really nice."

"Oh, uh, sure." Lily was taken aback. It had been a few weeks since she'd last spoken to Rufus and now all of a sudden he was about to be in her home? A million thoughts raced through Lily's mind. One of which being the fact that Serena doesn't know her past with Rufus, and she assumed Dan doesn't either. How were they going to act? Like they've never met? Would they confess to their kids the past they've shared?

She didn't have to wait much longer because just then Vanya's voice came onto their phone's speaker letting her know the guests were making their way up the elevator. She quickly smoothed her dress and fixed her hair. She couldn't help but feel nervous.

"Hey Dan!" Serena said as she walked towards the elevator as Dan and Rufus were walking towards the doorway.

"Hi, Serena." Dan responded and hugged her, feeling awkward about kissing in front of his dad.

Rufus looked around the apartment. Before he came he wasn't exactly sure what to expect but he had a pretty good idea. The fancy chandelier and vases with flowers weren't a surprise to him, and he was used to it anyhow whenever he would go along with Lily to her mother's house-on the off chance he was actually invited.

Lily walked towards where Serena was greeting her guests. She felt the awkward tension get stronger as she walked closer to them, which they were oblivious to until she approached them.

"Hello, Dan, welcome to our home." Lily displayed a curt smile.

"Thank you, Mrs. Van der Woodsen, for having us." Dan replied.

"Oh, mom, this is Dan's dad, Rufus." Serena said.

"Oh yes, hi." She said indifferently, looking him straight in the eye.

"Nice to meet you." Rufus responded, not taking his eyes off of her.

_ Oh, so he's going to play that game? _She thought. She then noticed he had put his hand out for a handshake and froze up for a moment. Then, realizing everyone was watching her, she took his hand. The moment their hands touched she felt a hit of nausea. It was the first time they made contact in twenty years. It felt strange nonetheless. Wondering how long she'd been shaking his hand she self-consciously let go and folded her arms across her chest.

"Please, feel free to take a seat in the living room until dinner is ready." Lily said. Dan, Serena, and Rufus took a seat on the parallel couches.

Dan looked around the apartment in amazement.

"I really like that painting by the window, where'd you get it?" Dan asked, pointing to the wall.

"Oh, thank you Dan, that's very kind." She said before she looked up, assuming it was one of the de Kooning's. "I got it-" Lily paused. She realized it was the one painting in her entire apartment that did not cost more than twenty thousand dollars. It was the painting Rufus had given her as a gift. He had bought it from a woman painting on the street, which at the time Lily had found adorable and incredibly sweet. Now not so much, but it was still one of her favorite paintings, so she couldn't help but to include it in her collection.

"Yes, where did you get that?" Rufus asked, smirking, obviously recognizing it.

"It was a gift." She simply stated.

"Oh, well whoever got it for you had great taste." Rufus said amusingly.

"Anyway," Serena said, changing the subject, "I wanted to show Dan this book we're reading in school, I'll be right back. C'mon Dan." She grabbed his hand and led him upstairs.

Lily sighed and wanted to protest, but let it go. She was feeling a mix of dread and excitement knowing she was going to have to make conversation with Rufus.

As the room became quiet Lily became more uncomfortable.

"Lovely home you've got, Lily." Rufus stated. Might as well make small talk.

"Thank you Rufus."

It was quiet for what felt like forever until Rufus broke the silence.

"How've you been, Lily?" He said it more as a statement then a question. He also had to stop himself from calling her 'Lil'.

"I'm just fine Rufus." She said with a straight face.

He started to speak when she interrupted him.

"Well actually, we put Eric in the Austrof Center for attempting to commit suicide, so I'd say thinks could be better, actually." She wasn't going to admit that piece of information but something in her mind was telling her to be honest with Rufus.

"Oh wow, Lily, I had no idea. I'm so sorry." Rufus got up to stand closer to Lily.

"Yeah, it's been very tough on our family lately." She said quietly, her head down, not wanting to look into his eyes.

He grabbed her hands.

"If you ever need any help at all, please let me know."

She didn't know if she wanted to cry, throw up, or throw herself onto him. She felt so many things at once and she felt feelings of the past rushing back to her.

Rufus let go of his hands but he remained standing close to her. They didn't speak but it was clear their minds were racing and the air was tense. Rufus just wanted to hug her, kiss her, but he knew he couldn't. Lily slowly stepped back and coughed.

Just then, Serena and Dan came back downstairs. They clearly didn't sense the awkwardness because they continued laughing and talking as they approached Lily and Rufus.

"When's dinner?" Serena asked.

"Oh, please come sit." Lily said, motioning for everyone to make their way into the dining area.

For the rest of the night Lily and Rufus rarely made eye contact or spoke to each other but it was clear to both of them that something was still there, unspoken.

After dinner, Dan and Rufus left and Lily never felt more releaved She also felt a small pang in her heart, a feeling of longing towards Rufus. She tried not to pay attention to it but she knew she couldn't pretend it wasn't there. She sighed. What was she going to do? Call Rufus and just see what happens next? Never talk to him again? Why did things have to be so difficult in the first place?

When she asked herself these questions, her heart made it clear what the answer was. She definitely wanted to see him again.


	5. Chapter 5

Lily was out shopping at Bergorf Goodman's when her cell phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered as her elegant usual self.

"Hi." Rufus simply replied.

When Lily heard his voice come through the phone her heart started beating faster.

"Oh, hi Rufus." Her mind raced with the endless possibilities of why he would be calling her.

"So Lily, some guy from a local magazine wanted me to give him a few photographs of myself and the band because he's doing a feature on bands from the nineties. And uh, I was wondering if maybe you could take a couple? If you still have that old camera kicking around?" Rufus gulped, he knew he was taking a chance here.

Lily thought for a moment. A smile spread across her face as she began to speak.

"I'm sure I have it somewhere... I might be able to take a few shots. I'm warning you, I may be a bit rusty."

Rufus's smile grew even greater.

"I'm sure you'll be able to regain that talent as soon as you pick it up. What time would work for you?"

"How about seven, tonight?"

"That'd be great. I really appreciate this, Lily."

"It's no problem Rufus, see you then." And with that, they hung up. Lily immediately wondered if the whole band and the man from the magazine would be there tonight, or if it would just be them. She was looking forward to finding out.

(Later that evening.)

Rufus looked in the mirror and combed his fingers through his hair. _Eh, I look good enough. _He thought. He realized his main reason for wanting to look good was actually Lily, not even considering that he had to look good because of the photos that were about to be taken.

Hearing a knock on the door, he immediately jolted out of his mirror daze and ran to open the door.

There Lily stood, in a cream colored trench coat, her blond hair down, waiting to be welcomed in by Rufus. Rufus observed her. He loved when she wore her hair down, instead of in a tight bun. He felt it was more like the Lily he was familiar with.

"Welcome to my humble abode." Rufus said as he brought her inside. She took off her coat and looked around his loft. _Well it certaintly is cozy_, she thought. But then she told the rest of her brain to stop judging, and just enjoy the evening.

"So where is the rest of the band?" Lily asked, knowing what she hoped the answer would be.

"Oh, they couldn't show on short notice, but it's okay, the magazine guy said he mainly wanted a photo of me."

"Ah." She nodded, containing her happiness.

"So where's that camera?"

Lily lifted up a bag she had around her shoulder, showing that her camera was being held in there.

"I'm telling you, don't expect this to be some professional photoshoot, it's been a while since-"

"Please," Rufus interrupted, "I have confidence that your photographs will be just fine." He said with a smile, as he took the bag off of her shoulder, took out the camera, and handed it to her.

"Well, alright.." She turned on the camera, attempting to adjust the settings.

"So I guess I'll just stand infront of this window..." Rufus offered.

"Okay." Lily said as she held the camera up to her eyes. "Smile! Well I guess, maybe have a serious face? I don't know, I'm used to taking more candid shots of you."

Rufus chuckled.

"I'm sure a serious face is fine, Lil." Calling her 'Lil' just came out, it felt natural. He felt a little embarrased about it since it used to be something he called her when they were dating, but she didn't seem to notice. He guessed it felt natural to her too.

Lily laughed as she took the photos, looking them over.

"They're great." She said. "Taking these sure does bring back a few memories."

The mood instantly changed. It became softer, quieter.

"I remember those days like it was yesterday, honestly." Rufus said.

"Here, come look at these." Lily said quietly, looking down at the camera, trying to keep the focus in the present. She was afraid of what would happen if she thought about the past.

Rufus walked up to her and looked at the camera.

"They're fantastic." He said, and then looked up at Lily. She was looking straight back at him.

Lily felt uncomfortable.

"Well I should prob-"

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if your mother didn't stop us from being together?" Rufus asked, his tone serious.

"Rufus, don't." She said softly, looking down. It was too painful to think about the past, so she didn't.

"Because honestly it crosses my mind far too often. It kills me, Lily. And now with you here, right now, us talking again, it's all too meaningful to pretend like this wasn't meant to happen."

"Rufus you're being ridiculous." She said, even though she wished she could scream 'YES! It is meaningful, it was meant to happen!' But she didn't.

"Well then that's just a shame because I think this is all too special to just pretend like nothing is meant to happen."

"Well don't make me feel bad. I'm sorry that I'm being realistic."

"Why do you have to be realistic? Why can't you take a chance? Why can't you let your mind wander for just a second to think of the possibilities? To think of why we were brought back together after all these years?" Rufus's voice was raised and he was breathing heavily.

"Why do you think Rufus?" She yelled back. "Why wouldn't I think about it? Maybe because it's too painful to think of what it'd be like if we were still together, and that it's my fault that we're not."

Rufus grabbed her arm.

"That's not true. It's not your fault. Don't think that."

"Then what am I supposed to think, Rufus?"

"I don't know."

"Well what, then? Maybe I should just go." Lily broke free of Rufus's hold.

"Please, Lily. Please don't go. I just- I miss you so much. Every time I see you it's just a reminder of what I lost, but this time I want it back."

Lily stared at him for what felt like forever, just studying his face. What did he want from her? He made her feel guilty but then got mad when she felt bad about it. And now he doesn't want her to leave? A million emotions rushed through her and adreneline pumped through her veins, but she felt confused. Unsure of what to say or do next. She could try to keep pushing him away, along with pushing the pain away. She wanted him, though, but with that meant taking the leap of realizing she would feel emotions and feelings towards Rufus, and that she could no longer run away from that.

"I'm just scared, Rufus." She said.

"Please don't be scared, Lily."

He went to kiss her, his lips grazing against hers before she pushed him away.

Lily felt overwhelmed. It was all too much for her.

"I don't want to lose you again." She said, her eyes feeling hot, tears threatening behind her eyes.

"Lily please, I promise you. You won't lose me. I don't know what I have to do to convince you but I promise, you won't lose me."

She stared at him for another moment, realizing that his eyes were not lying.

At this point they were standing only a few inches from eachother.

She pushed her lips forward to kiss him, taking that leap of faith, and experiencing a reunion that felt long overdue.

Warmth spread over her body, and Lily couldn't think of a time that felt more right than right now.

Rufus put his hands through her hair. He felt complete. He felt like the longing in his heart was finally filled, and everything felt right.

Lily walked forward, pushing Rufus's back against the wall, with her hands on his chest. There wasn't a moment for either of them that felt better than right now.

"Rufus," Lily whispered as he started to kiss her down her neck, lower each time.

They couldn't wait to see what happened next.


End file.
